My Life May Resume

This weekend I took one of the most hellish departmental qualifying exams for my doctoral program.  I must say that for the past month or so I have really be in full grind mode because the exam covers SO much material (content spanning 7 subjects within mechanical engineering).  But thanks to the grace and mercy of God it is finished, over, and done with.  Finally, life as we know it may resume.

My life prior to now consisted of sleeping, studying, eating, studying, eating, studying, sleeping, and repeat (with all of the things in between).  I had to make a few sacrifices for the sake of dedicating time and efforts to preparing including going out on the weekends, traveling home or even communicating consistently with my family and friends, practicing my photography or executing photo projects, and sorting through my long list of photo albums.  It was a long strenuous process to prepare for that exam, and my efforts will not go unrecognized.

While I wait to hear the results from my examination, I will continuously cross things off of my to-do list.  I have so many ideas and dreams that must be fulfilled.  I have so many things to say to others, so many things to do, and things I need to do to work on myself (mind, body, soul, and spirit).

Be on the look out for more posts about my photography, my fashion (outward beauty), and my creations in the kitchen.  I recently invested in a Crock-Pot so I may have a few cuisines featured with the tag #CrockpotCreations.

Let's get it!

Until next time,

Maleshia J.

Monday: The Pressure

Monday...

It’s very easy for doubt to creep in when things aren’t looking up in your immediate future. I’m just not feeling it right now. It has me feeling like maybe this just isn’t for me right now. It will all be over soon, soon enough, but will I be ready. Sometimes, I have to look off into the distance just to keep myself from crying/shedding a tear. I know I’m not alone in this, I’m highly favored, but I can’t help but feel these emotions as I go through the motions of trying to figure out how to make it through. This is a very stressful time for me. My own self-imposed pressures are what is weighing me down at the moment. I do not feel confident, no matter how much I tell myself. It just doesn’t stop. It’s only Monday…

I will get through this. I should definitely take a double-take, maybe even triple-take at one of my favorite scriptures Philippians 4:13 which simply says:

"I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."

He strengthens my mind, body, and soul. Thank you Lord. I believe it and I will not give up. I will try my best. It’s just that getting to that end point and visualizing myself at the end of the road has proven very difficult for me.  My qualifying exam is scheduled for this weekend.

My current obstacles/challenges/struggles:

• PhD Qualifying exam
• Lack of focused state of mind and proper study environment(s) or study zones
• Feelings of inadequacy and unconfidence
• Mentally exhausted
• Unsure about what I want to research or am 100% passionate about
• Life at home

It’s a lot, but I’m hoping that God will help me cross out every item on this list in due time. This post was not meant to be sad, pessimistic, or depressing - I just had to get it out. If I could ask one thing, it would be for prayers for strength, endurance, courage, the spirit of boldness, and restored confidence in my abilities.

Side Note: Jhene Aiko's latest album "Souled Out" has been the business for me this past week.

Until next time,

Maleshia J.

Hairspiration: I Cut It!

I cut it! ...

Restart.

New chapter. New priorities. New themes. New beginnings.  It's about that time.

I'm going through a lot internally it seems, but I know and truly believe that God will work it out for me.  Sometimes when things seem far out of place, or are going astray, I admit, I feel discouraged, annoyed, angry.  During those times are when I need to rely on Him the most.  Distancing myself from others isn't the answer.

I'm tired. Sometimes I just want to start over.