Relationship Experiences

Relationship experiences: I may not have much of it, but what I have experienced so far and what I have observed is enough for me to recognize red flags and not make bad mistakes over and over again.  The motto that I've embraced when it comes to relationships is it's okay to be selfish - look out for myself first.  Trust me, it's much better that way in the end.  You reduce your chances of getting hurt by like 10 times (my attempt at rough statistics lol).

I shall warn ye reader that none of my recounts of past relationships are in chronological order.

Back to reality.  I look back over some memorable experiences over the years, particularly during my college years.  I remember at the end of each semester of freshman and sophomore year, I would share with my friends a napkin diagram of all the guys I'd either had a crush on or I concluded they liked me based on their behavior or our interactions.  These diagrams were pretty extensive.  If I remember correctly, one semester had at least 12 guys on the diagram (lol).  With realism added to the equation, I think two-thirds of the list were crossed off for guys with actual potential.  Someone that should've been there since day one was always missing from the list.

I've had the moment where I told a good friend I liked them, and after a mutual understanding we just remained friends.  It's cool though.  We have one of those friendships where it's just not meant to be romantic and we're better off as friends.  Yeah, I have one of those cliche relationships.  No matter what, that friend will always have a special place in my heart.

I've been in one where my mind was head over heels for someone who didn't even feel the same way about me over time.  There was a lot of omission, distance, insensitive statements, "lectures" that absolutely pissed me off, a somewhat large age difference, and we were obviously just different.  We were just incompatible, but it took me nearly 6-9 months to fully accept our differences and cut all ties after I was dumped.  I was in denial about the relationship and what was happening.  Things started out great, although things seemed to be moving fast.  You've gotta hear me out.  After never having a real relationship (I don't count high school shenanigans) and many unrealistic crushes throughout college, it felt nice to have someone appreciate me for who I was and "woo" me.  I liked him and cared much about him, but not enough to love him and move forward together.  

A few months into it, things went sour.  Everyone was telling me otherwise but I kept giving the benefit of the doubt, like I always do (I could blog about this alone; it's my downfall).  I should've nipped it in the bud earlier, but it is what it is and I learned a lot about myself from that relationship. We shared many good times, but the bad times definitely outweighed the good moments. And I don't say that because I was hurt/dumped in the end. I say it because at the time I didn't know what I really wanted because it was all a new experience for me, but I did realize that he wasn't truly giving me what I was looking for.  He isn't a bad guy, just not the right one for me.  That year was a rough one, but I got through it and I'm happy. When I think about that particular relationship all I can do is laugh at the situation.

I am happy with where I am right now.  I am very happy being single.  I do not have to operate on someone else's schedule.  I am free.  However, I can wait for the day for that right man to enter my life.  On God's time, I will continue working on myself until He sends that special person my way. I'm in no rush.